Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Test Your News IQ Score
Test your news IQ score. Compare your results with other people who took the quiz.
I got 11 out of 12 correct.
I got 11 out of 12 correct.
Monday, February 15, 2010
Policeman VS. Teacher
What do you do when you're a policeman and you're being sent to a school to check out a situation about an aggressive female teacher and when you get there she's all bitchy and she slaps you? You do what any other policeman would do. You slap her back!
Via
Via
Political Correctness
Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading America,
Kentuckians, Tennesseans and West Virginians will no longer be referred to as’HILLBILLIES.’ You must now refer to them as APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS.
And furthermore…
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
1. She is not a ‘BABE’ or a ‘CHICK’ – She is a ‘ BREASTED AMERICAN. ‘
2. She is not ‘EASY’ – She is ‘HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE..’
3. She is not a ‘DUMB BLONDE’ – She is a ‘LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY..’
4. She has not ‘BEEN AROUND’ – She is a ‘PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION.’
5. She does not ‘NAG’ you – She becomes ‘ VERBALLY REPETITIVE.’
6. She is not a ‘TWO-BIT HOOKER’ – She is a ‘ LOW COST PROVIDER.’
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
1. He does not have a ‘BEER GUT’ – He has developed a ‘LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.’
2. He is not a ‘BAD DANCER’ – He is ‘ OVERLY CAUCASIAN.’
3. He does not ‘GET LOST ALL THE TIME’ – He ‘ INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.’
4. He is not ‘BALDING’ – He is in ‘FOLLICLE REGRESSION.’
5. He does not act like a ‘TOTAL ASS’ – He develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.’
6. It’s not his ‘CRACK’ you see hanging out of his pants – It’s ‘TROUSER CLEAVAGE!’
Via
Kentuckians, Tennesseans and West Virginians will no longer be referred to as’HILLBILLIES.’ You must now refer to them as APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS.
And furthermore…
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
1. She is not a ‘BABE’ or a ‘CHICK’ – She is a ‘ BREASTED AMERICAN. ‘
2. She is not ‘EASY’ – She is ‘HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE..’
3. She is not a ‘DUMB BLONDE’ – She is a ‘LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY..’
4. She has not ‘BEEN AROUND’ – She is a ‘PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION.’
5. She does not ‘NAG’ you – She becomes ‘ VERBALLY REPETITIVE.’
6. She is not a ‘TWO-BIT HOOKER’ – She is a ‘ LOW COST PROVIDER.’
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
1. He does not have a ‘BEER GUT’ – He has developed a ‘LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.’
2. He is not a ‘BAD DANCER’ – He is ‘ OVERLY CAUCASIAN.’
3. He does not ‘GET LOST ALL THE TIME’ – He ‘ INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.’
4. He is not ‘BALDING’ – He is in ‘FOLLICLE REGRESSION.’
5. He does not act like a ‘TOTAL ASS’ – He develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.’
6. It’s not his ‘CRACK’ you see hanging out of his pants – It’s ‘TROUSER CLEAVAGE!’
Via
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